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I am willing to lose to her

2021-08-31 23:46:54 Literary frequency modulation

Original painting

Early autumn

November four years ago , Ah yuan and I applied to stay at school for the weekend . She said she loved the open campus on weekends , Reminds her of the church she's been to . That Friday night , We ran to the playground and danced and sang , The lights shine . A yuan is much taller than me , I always look up at her , See the Star River under the eyelashes illuminated by the light .

Back to the bedroom , She takes a bath , I read books. . The sky outside the balcony showed a dark blue , No stars and moons . The desk lamp shines on the beige desk , There are some dry branches at the table , There is a book in the center 《 Izu's dancer 》. I read their story again , Just finished , Ah yuan came over with his hair wiped . She opened the drawer and took out the hair dryer , Squat and plug in , Then he got up and leaned against the table to blow his hair . Her head leans to one side , His eyes were distracted . I suddenly have a strong desire to share , Against the roar of the wind , I opened my voice and said to her :“ EH ! round , Shall I read it to you later ?”

“ what ?” She looked back at me .

I got up and walked over :“ I said, , Shall I read it to you later ?” Then he raised his book ,“《 Izu's dancer 》.”

She smiled , Nod and say yes .

After she blew her hair , He moved a stool and sat next to me . I told her , Do not look. , Just listen , You can also listen with your eyes closed , But don't fall asleep . She nodded , I opened that page and began .

“ The mountain road becomes winding . It's almost Tiancheng ridge . At this time , The shower was white over the dense fir forest , From the foot of the mountain to me, it swept rapidly .”

I read stutteringly , The picture corresponding to the text appears in my mind , And sound brings a certain distance closer in another way . A novel of 13000 words , A yuan didn't move during the reading , It seems that even breathing is still , It makes me worry if she's listening carefully . Whenever I am so worried , She always pops up , Tell me to stop , Ask me the meaning of a word or a sentence . Ask somewhere I don't know , Turn a few more pages forward , Just began to speculate . I felt in my heart that she listened to the book more carefully than I did .

I heard my voice becoming more and more unreal , The long reading made my voice gradually uncomfortable . Read it word by word , It's like lying on the lawn counting the stars at night , One after another , I don't know when to count . Although I can't see a star tonight .

“ He said :‘ Have you encountered any misfortune ?’

“‘ No , I just left her .’ I'm very frank . Let others see themselves in tears , I don't care . I don't want anything , Just want to sleep quietly in comfort and satisfaction .”

At this time, I turned my head and looked at ah yuan , She still sat quietly , Then I read the last two paragraphs .


“ My mind turned into a pool of water , Trickle out , There's nothing left , Just feel sweet and happy .”

close the book .

“ After reading the .” I whispered . My throat is already thirsty and uncomfortable .

A yuan turned and looked at me :“ Not anymore ?”

“ Um. , No more , How did you like it? ?”

She frowned and thought , Then he said :“ I didn't feel much ahead , After the last separation , That sentence ‘ No , I just left her ’, Suddenly feel very moved , Very sad .”

 “ Did you feel a little trivial in the middle of listening , Want to sleep ?”

She nodded , And immediately said :“ But it's okay , I listened attentively , I feel really good after listening , I feel like reading the original text again .”

“ ha-ha , Reading to you is the fourth time I've read this story . I read it for the first time last weekend , Read it again immediately , I saw it again just now when you were taking a bath . I can't let go for a long time , I really want to share this feeling , So read it to you .”

I laughed from the bottom of my heart , She feels similar to me , My desire to share is really satisfied at this moment —— A sense of resonance .

December , We don't stay at school on weekends . One day before I came home on Friday , She wants to compete with me to finish her homework first , My bet is that book 《 Izu's dancer 》. That weekend I left all my homework in the afternoon when I came back to school , I am willing to lose to her . I drew a map of the stars , On the page at the end of the story , Give it to her with the book .

A star map for a yuan

That collection contains nearly 20 short stories by Kawabata Yasunari , Other articles have not had much impression , and 《 Izu's dancer 》 But I remember for a long time , Just this one .

It rained for two days and two nights . Early in the morning, I heard birds singing and rain falling , I don't know whether it's a dream or a wake . The blanket is the boundary between reality and dream , Wrap it , Willing to dream , open , It's cool . At the end of August , Autumn comes early .

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